O te gusta o te mata

There were butterflies in my belly, now I can't breathe. There is no ground under your feet, there is no place to rest your head. We believed we had always done everything right, that we deserved luck: evil would never come, the house was built on the rock, forever would be forever. Instead everything has been lost, where to go and what to do now?

The phone ringing, no desire to answer. Darkness inside the eyes, shame for the dust above the heart, better to keep a safe distance, especially from those who love us. Don't let us see ourselves like this, sadness makes us ugly. The pain has surpassed the joy, the health has been less than the disease, an anesthetized heart that can feel nothing.

It hurts just to think about it, the words don't come out, silences and sighs of an unnameable emptiness. Everything that meant life tastes like death, the heart still beats, but for what reason? Hand that held another hand and now meets emptiness. Alone and it seems that we can do nothing, hope has become impossible, fear passes through every draft and we cannot find peace.

When we don't yet know that there is another life after. All around there are invisible, distant, hidden holds. Just find the first one, when someone or something stops us. And the desire for happiness becomes stronger than the evil in which we have lost ourselves.
Being reborn from the ashes, no matter how much time we spent locked inside, escaping even from our shadow. Getting lost and then finding yourself again, with the risk of losing everything again, works like this, pirate life or te gusta or te mata. Forever it is a place that we have inside us, inhabited by people who make it special. We can imagine it and we can feel it. We have to create and invent it all over again, especially if we have lost it.

Beyond our pain there is already a new life waiting for us, in all its imperfection and in all its beauty. We didn't know it, but it was all already written, all we had to do was remove the veil. Time to bring out the party dress, the luxury of stopping in front of a mirror without having to lower our gaze. The road has been long, the heart is tired, but the eyes are open again, the step is light again. Gone are the days of shame. Every time it rains you can't wait to go outside and jump in a puddle. For every black cloud full of bad things you know that a giant breath is enough to send it away. At each star, close your eyes, look for the most difficult desire and have the courage to try your luck.

Marco Grossetti
NP May 2024