Behind the door

We live in a time in which, astonished, we find ourselves limited and, within us, something protests as if it were an unfair thing and which, after the many conquests to overcome the infirmity of nature and the limits of all kinds, social, economic .. ., the fact of finding our way barred by limitations based on just reasons, equally causes in us a sense of revolt and scandal. Perhaps, however, we forget other barriers that live with us and that we accept or, if we rebel, we know that it is without reason. I'm trying to talk about the whole world that inhabits us and which are our desires, dreams, utopias, that universe which, if it did not exist, the world would be unlivable due to its monotony and flatness.

Yet this universe that inhabits us is not without causing lacerations, suffering and revolts in us. Looking at it closely, we can imagine it as a strong current that drags with it rainbows of dark colors and palettes, fascinating faces and frightening monsters; this vortex is launched towards the future, wanting to open new spaces for us, which make the world that seems to us to be the best. This continuous current, which arises from us, at times understood at times mysterious, seems to bump into a closed door and have no possibility of realization, of a story, of an open horizon. There seems to be no horizon of life for it.

We continually seek: the Bible often tells us the object of this research: the face of God and with him every face, every possibility of looking and being looked at, of recognizing and being recognized.

It is an endless quest, which becomes a pleading cry. It's your face I'm looking for, let me see your face! The believer says it to his God, but also the one who is gripped by doubt; the lover of the Canticle says it, but it is also an anguished cry of the one who does not see who spies on him, where the enemy is. This desire to see the face, of God in particular, seems to have no other future than the failure of a closed door. The book of Genesis begins with the idyllic state of the friendly intimacy of man with God, but immediately sees a door close, the door to the garden of friendship, to leave us in the land of violence, fatigue, jealousy, hatred. and murder. Going through that door again seems impossible. The death and resurrection of Jesus will be necessary. But beyond the closed door is there really no horizon for desire, for the life of man? Even if we cannot plan our path and realize our dream, desire digs tunnels, draws paths, draws routes, which, often without us noticing it, are the true fulfillment of our life; day after day. In this way life is a surprise: the Door has closed and the cherubs with swords of fire prevent its entry, but we are given the outside world in which we can redraw life, sometimes with terrible scribbles that escape the our hand, at other times with surprising beauties.

The world of harmony and friendship left closed behind the door nourishes our entire inner world and the search for the face of God and of Man continues to spurt forth the desire that generates the ability to create. Only when, not bearing the wound of desire, we grasp to possess immediately, do we prevent the growth of what is true in us and which stimulates us, even if painfully, to come to life and make us create the other side of the Door, the land that was given to us. This life that we generate, like a sea continues to touch the threshold of the Door, waiting for it to open wide and for the divine world and the human world to be no more than a single new earth with a new sky.

Cesare Falletti
NP november 2020