The right question

Publish date 25-04-2021

by Matteo Spicuglia

There is a time when everyone asks why.

Paolo's parents ask it. They believed in the healing of that son who fell ill in the penultimate year of high school. How much hope, how much wandering from one hospital to another, how many years to sustain him! For nothing. Why?
Lucia and Stefano ask it. The constant amazement of recognizing each other every morning, of seeing the love that unites them reflected in the eyes of their child. Never felt such great joy, the feeling of a heart that expands, that welcomes life, that nourishes it. Almost a dizziness. Why?
Anna ask it. A little over 30, a normal life with its ups and downs. One day he notices a lump in his breasts, he doesn't care. The check-up visit will leave no way out. Months of chemotherapy, a very invasive operation, a future in any case with obstacles. Why?
Monica's children it. A tight heart in front of a mother turned off by Alzheimer's: the look that no longer recognizes them, love forced to express itself in different ways, in a never-before-seen terrain tried out. And for this feared. Why?
Fabio's relatives ask il. A little over 50, no health problems, a healthy lifestyle and a great passion for his work as a photojournalist. The Covid that arrives suddenly, forces you into a hospital bed, begins to eat you inside, until you leave just before Christmas. Why?
Sara asks it. Years of study and sacrifices, great ideals to be realized, a thousand doors slammed in the face. Then the meeting with an enlightened employer who is struck by so much determination. A full-blown contract that appears suddenly. Incredible! Why?
Alessio asks il. He had made a thousand sacrifices to open his first business, that bar on which he had placed his hunger for the future. The search for the right place, the help of the parents to buy the furniture, the training to be up to the task. In February last year, the first closures for the pandemic. He still doesn't know if he will be able to reopen when everything is over. Why?
Franco and his friends ask it. Few means in the face of so much poverty and hardship. Yet, always ready to give an answer, concrete help, an opportunity to listen. Just when I'm on the verge of not making it anymore, when the warehouses are empty, here is Providence working through a face, a person who helps, a donation that changes things. Always like that. Why?
Michele asks it. A life lived between one addiction and another. The inability to accept the deepest part of oneself, to stop judging it. Years of community, the idea of ​​having made it. Then the drug abyss again. Why?
Marzia asks it. Only she knows how much she loved Fausto, how much she has worked hard to live true love. They were kids when it all started. Growing up together wasn't easy at all, but they always felt on the same side. Then the first disagreements, the silences, the attempts to choose again. Everything useless. Fausto and the logic of the fait accompli. Marzia remains alone. Why?
Antonio asks it. Used for many years not to follow the heart, to keep the world under control. Then comes a feeling that resets everything, which suggests a dimension of beauty, which changes the gaze on things. Like a new beginning. Why?

"Asking yourself is normal, but the question is wrong," the wise man said one day to a young man who wanted to understand. "Why?" "Because it is impossible to explain pain and love. And even if it were, it would be a useless exercise, a waste of time". "I do not understand". “If someone came to mechanically explain your depths and your impulses, would that change anything? Would you suffer less or rejoice more? No, and do you know why? Joys and sorrows cannot be explained, they are shared". "So what?" “So, he learns to stay. Live your pain and your joy to the full. But don't ask yourself why anymore. Ask yourself how, for what, for whom".

Matteo Spicuglia
NP February 2021

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