The angel of child brides

The story of Dilek Demir who has been fighting for years to fight the scourge of early marriages in Turkey.

Dilek Demir is a 49-year-old Turkish woman who hit the headlines in 2014 for being the first female neighborhood muhtar candidate in the city of Diyarbakır, the main Kurdish urban center in eastern Turkey. The muhtar is a sort of village chief who takes the place of the mayor, in small Anatolian agglomerations or a neighborhood official elected for five years, in large urban centers. Her tasks, particularly extensive in the villages, may involve public health, primary education, as well as safety and the notification of public announcements.

Dilek, already during the electoral campaign, had suffered several oppressions: posters concerning her torn or, in other cases, decorated with mustaches on her image of her, as if to say: "forget it, this is a male task!" . However, his courage was rewarded because he won not only the 2014 elections, with 1,500 more votes than his six male challengers, but also in 2019, bringing the gap to 2,500 more votes than three male candidates, in the elections. in the Bağlar Muradiye district. Dilek immediately plunged body and soul into a service that she has always considered as a mission, in particular towards the scourge of early marriages of underage girls (a problem not only in Turkey but in many countries in the south-east of the world, from the most diverse cultures). She dilek she had never forgotten that she was forced by her father, at the age of 14, to marry a 27-year-old man, while still attending school and cultivating the dream of studying to become a police officer. With violence, including physical violence, her parent had bent her to her decision and these constraints continued even in her husband's family home, where the couple lived with his parents and two of her brothers. Dilek's marriage lasted 17 years. She has been single for 18 years, after raising her children (now all graduates) practically alone, she wanted with determination to train them in resilience, but also ready and willing to serve their community and those most in need.

According to the Turkish National Statistical Institute, in 2020 alone the number of girls between 16 and 17 years of age forced into marriage was 13,014, or 18 times the number of boys of the same age who married in the same period. However, the statistics also show that, in Turkey, these figures represent a decrease of the phenomenon, of 71% in the last 10 years. Thus, the child brides rate fell below 3% for the first time, but it should be noted, however, that the official statistics sadly do not provide any data for girls under the age of 16. Dilek, thanks also to the experience gainedin her personal story, she has been able to create over the years a climate of trust and extreme discretion, to encourage people's stories, to free the word and raise awareness of the importance of fighting violence and discrimination. A small letterbox outside his office has favored the confidentiality of many requests for help: prevention against child marriages, against the sale of minors (for this purpose) in exchange for money or work, against abuse and domestic violence, up to to drug addiction cases ... Dilek Demir's father died of cancer at the age of 63 and, before dying, he asked his daughter for forgiveness who, today, only regrets not having had time to show him what he was able to do for helping dozens of cases like yours, favoring the evolution of the mentality of a patriarchal and violent society. Education, not only for the younger generations, continues to be the best tool for achieving this goal: an educated mother will be able not only to claim her rights but to educate her children to respect those of others, making them stronger. and aware in the defense of their own.

13,014 girls between 16 and 17 years of age forced into marriage, or 18 times the number of boys of the same age who married in the same period.

Claudio Monge

NP Marzo 2022