Everyone grows only if dreamed of

Boys are boys, parents are terribly fragile, especially the father figure is missing. The playmate father doesn't work. There is a conflictual lack, which does not allow children to experience frustration. We no longer know how to live confrontation, manage conflict. Fathers cannot make everything pleasant and comfortable. Parents should always remember that it is the air resistance that allows flight.

THE VALUE OF MISTAKES
In education it is necessary to be in tune with one's resources. We must be able to make mistakes, the school considers the opposite instead. The school should evaluate improvements and progress. We need to change the approach, we improve on the basis of positive precedents and not on previous failures. We value resources, successes to generate positive growth. Teachers should therefore record improvements and not sanction shortcomings. Take for example what is happening in sport: the action of mental coaches is developing and they always tend to value resources, to look to the positive, to the glass half full. Children can get stuck if they are always and only reprimanded for their limitations and their weaknesses: thus they risk growing up as inadequate.

RESOLVING CONFLICTS
We consider the quarrel as an act of oppression, a fault. We always look for the culprit, but it is a police attitude and in the end the quarrel is considered as a highly negative event. But the fight is part of the game because we all fought. The quarrel is paradoxically a sign of closeness: more often we quarrel with those we know, not with those who are unknown. Often if we do it to children, it only takes a little time to end the opposition. The method is not to blame, but rather to make the children talk about the reasons for the quarrel. P, it may be useful to set up a conflict corner, a table and two chairs with white cards, a ball of yarn. So the children can sit facing each other and, in turn, write their reasons on cards and pass the ball of yarn that gradually unrolls. Peace is not about eliminating conflicts but about managing them.

IN THE FIELD OF AFFECTS
One's sexual and emotional education is built first of all among peers. Now with the pandemic, the revenues of the pornographic market have doubled and it has become accessible to very young children. How can children who identify affectivity and sexuality only with pornography grow well? Among other things, pornography is strongly misogynist. We need to cultivate friendship rather than performance. We need to create groups in which boys and girls can meet and get to know each other. In this time the family is not so much the point of reference in these times because the children want to distance themselves from their parents.

AN EDUCATIONAL NETWORK
Children do not need only their parents, teachers, we need to expand the space of relationships to people who are capable of giving trust. There is a need for educational resources so that you can have many cards to play (world of sport, culture, solidarity, the church, etc.), so as not to be encapsulated only in the family or in a too narrow horizon.

BEING PARENTS
Parents must know how to organize themselves well from an educational point of view: emotions are the great fuels for managing relationships with children. Parents must speak and act as a team: we use the first person plural, we use the "we". Through their parents, children must understand that the community is expressed through them. Less petulant, more concrete and practical. Parents are left alone in the education of their children, so they rely on blogs and get lost. We need information and knowledge that can save our lives.

CHOOSE
The latest generations see their IQ increase by at least three percentage points every 5 years. A third of first grade children arrive at school already knowing how to read, young people have an incredible familiarity with languages. But what do we do with all this intelligence? Do we just want to use it and waste it in virtual reality or do we want to spend it to fully live in the concrete reality in which we really live? Technology is important but we don't have to put aside concrete experiences.

Unidialogo editorial staff
NP March 2022