A half life

Fear of the future, anxiety, sadness, but also the desire for relationships and the ability to face difficulties. The spectrum of emotions middle and high school kids experienced during the pandemic is complex. Alberto Rossetti, psychotherapist, has written a book that focuses on the experiences of adolescents. It's called Everyone at home. Friends, school, family: what the lockdown has taught us. From his observatory of him, Rossetti is a witness of what the last year and a half has sown in the youngest.

The Covid-19 pandemic has tested everyone, young and old.
But what wounds has it caused in adolescents?
First of all, a distinction must be made: the children experienced the first months of the pandemic differently than the following ones.
The first lockdown was very particular, in its exceptional nature.
There was an epic tale of staying indoors to defeat the virus and this in many cases protected us from confronting reality. This also applies to young people: many have frozen and postponed a series of issues that are problematic for them.

What did they show up later?
Yes, in the following months. In September 2020 the schools opened, we came out of this exceptional bubble and we are confronted with the daily life of the pandemic. Throughout the past winter and spring the rhythms have been very different from pre-covid: not going out, not seeing each other, not playing sports, are all elements that have had a very strong impact. , several centers reported an increase in pathologies in boys such as eating disorders, body attacks, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, anxiety. Those who work with them have realized that some symptoms have just exploded. Of course, there are also those who have discovered a resilience they didn't think they had. But it wasn't like that for everyone: someone really needed to have other experiences to grow.

What remains today?
The boys carry around a year and a half of half-lived life because so many experiences have not been made.
I am referring above all to the dimension of relationships, of being together, of feelings. Now, on the one hand, young people need and want to experience these things, and this can also translate into exaggeration, on the other they are afraid. Adolescence is a period in which experiences are very rapid: usually in a year and a half great progress is made in terms of social achievements, relationships and the construction of one's identity. It is just a different time than that of an adult.

Can you already imagine if there will be long-term consequences for children?
No, it is not possible because we are still immersed in this particular situation and there are variables that are very difficult to evaluate. There is a report by Amnesty International from 2021 that tells the emotions of children in times of pandemic and for the majority of them are emotions on the depressive side, such as fear and sadness.
It seems that this period has sown in them a bit of fear of the future, which is the opposite of what we usually expect from a young guy. We have to see how we will live from here on and if the resumption of all activities will make us recover the drive towards life.

As adults, what can we do to be close to young people?
The rule that we must always have applies: do not exalt their emotional states but neither underestimate them. It is important to listen to them and try to find solutions to difficulties with them, which are real, not inventions. If the little ones find it difficult to connect or to go to school, we can try to push them towards recreational or sporting activities. Without exaggerating, but you can walk with them in a direction that makes them regain possession of a space.
Perhaps as adults we should also think about a new balance: not denying the pandemic but not even having the fear we had in March 2020. This helps children to find their balance too.

The subtitle of his book is: Friends, family school: what the lockdown has taught us. So what have we learned?
We have certainly lived an experience of contact with death, with illness and therefore also with life. And we could not have done it in a more perfect way, despite the great drama of what we experienced. The pandemic has given us the awareness that, despite everything, life is something that is beyond the control of the human. It is an important teaching for everyone, adults and children, and we can turn it in a positive direction because it helps us to give the right value to things. We also experienced loneliness firsthand and this awakened in us the desire to build networks and relationships, which perhaps we were losing. Now it is important to continue in this direction.

Chiara Vitali
NP November 2021