White flags

Raising the white flag carries with it a profoundly negative connotation, because we imagine it is the signal given by someone who can no longer take it, who gives up because they are unable to tolerate a situation any longer, who lacks the resources to continue in some "battle," and therefore gives up. Perhaps we are wrong to think that there is only the possibility of fighting to win or of surrendering by admitting weakness. We should begin to think that raising the white flag can be the manifestation of a great awareness and intelligence: what we are doing makes no sense, and we have the courage to say it first, to demonstrate that we have understood how much time and effort we are wasting. What is this fight for? Is there a true good we are defending? Will we be able to tell ourselves that it was worth it, or will we have wasted too much life in the name of an unclear principle?

In our families, we can find ourselves in situations that leave us at a dead end, a pit into which we continue to throw resources that never return. We must learn with time and experience that raising the white flag may be the only intelligent response left to us when we are no longer fighting for the good but only for a principle born of pride.


Eva & Ale
NP June / July 2025