The art of waiting

It is a fact that we live a frenetic life, on which we probably all agree.
Autumn, with the resumption of school and all the afternoon activities of a family, tells us in capital letters that we live in a rush. And if by chance some unforeseen event happens that slows down our daily planning like a marathon runner (without any medal as a final prize?), we go into crisis because we are wasting time!

If we then think about many other habits that are now consolidated and taken for granted, we realize that for many things we are no longer able to give ourselves time to wait: we can watch a TV series all in one go, without having to wait for it to come out once a week on TV; if we feel like Chinese food or "junk" food, we always find a poor rider who will bring it in a few minutes; if our child is late from school we can immediately geo-localize him; if we don't have a piece of information, Mr. Google is ready to give us any answer that reassures us, even if we don't know if it is the right answer.

What takes time seems to escape our control and for this reason it causes us anxiety. A study by a Canadian university has shown that a person's mood worsens for every extra minute they sit and wait. Waiting seems to take away the opportunity to live positive experiences. But are we really sure that living the wait is negative? Couldn't it be an opportunity to give ourselves instead?

Learning to wait is good for us for more than one reason and several studies demonstrate this, which highlight aspects related to the art of waiting that we can recognize as valid, perhaps "simply" we are encouraged to rediscover them in this time. First of all, waiting for unexpected events trains us to be tolerant towards negative feelings that emerge in the face of delays or inconveniences.
In fact, it seems that this training is essential for our mental health. Then, accepting to live uncertainty can increase the determination to pursue ambitious goals. Furthermore, waiting helps us to cultivate patience, therefore the ability to regulate our emotions in the face of delays and frustrations. Patience can be an excellent weapon for finding positive aspects in apparently negative unexpected events. In short, it helps us see the glass half full! Finally, if we try to think back to some idea or some fact that happened precisely at a moment in which we were “apparently” wasting time, we can convince ourselves that every moment can be an opportunity and, if the heart and mind remain awake, no moment is ever wasted. Just think of those who, waiting for a late bus, have perhaps found their soul mate!

Valentina Turinetto
NP October 2024