Free to make mistakes

I have already spoken about Claudio, almost a year ago, highlighting the falls and rises of this man with a gentle soul who lived a very troubled life (if you want to reread the article about him, it is entitled "love to live").

Claudio has not been well lately, pneumonia did not want to abandon him and, two weeks ago, he entered the hospital for the umpteenth time. After this last hospitalization, however, something unusual happened, Claudio disappeared into thin air. No phone calls, no response to messages, zero information to friends, nothing that could reassure us. Disappeared.

It is normal that his friends were worried, they love him and it could not be otherwise. The situation became clear only when Claudio's mother showed up at the bar where we meet every morning for breakfast, and she was crying.
It is clear that seeing an elderly lady, with very precarious health, in those conditions, immediately alarmed us. Filled with tears, she told us that that morning, her son had had his leg amputated because he had stopped taking his diabetes medication for months, obviously resulting in serious consequences for his foot.

Still stunned by the news, I tried to call Claudio several times, but the phone remained silent. In the meantime, his mother kept telling me not to go visit him, because her son had fallen into a deep depression and did not want to see or hear from anyone.
My wife, for the first time, also did not know what advice to give me; she was torn between feeding my desire to rebel against his request for solitude, which could only make things worse, or trying to convince me to leave the answer to time on what to do. And no one could know how long it would take.
So, I waited, but I only held out for a few days. Inside me I felt a push that I could not hold back, a voice kept repeating that I had to go to that hospital and without wasting any more time, even knowing that my freedom of choice conflicted with that of my friend.

But I know Claudio well, I know for sure that our friendship has an important value for both of us, and even if initially my presence could have annoyed him, later not feeling alone would certainly have benefited his recovery. Before leaving, however, I sent him an audio where I briefly told him the feeling I had for him and why I thought it was right that he not exclude me from his drama. I rejoiced when my cell phone lit up, and even more when I read his response inviting me to go to the hospital.

Claudio cried when he saw me, mumbling sentences in which he apologized for having disappeared, mixed with those where he called himself stupid for having decided to stop taking the drugs.

It took hours, days, and so much, so much love, from all those who love him, for his gaze to return to the same as before and finally today Claudio is smiling again.
He understood that life, with or without a leg, must be praised, loved, lived and respected, and also that alone is everything more difficult. Seeing him smile is the greatest Christmas present I could receive.

However, I can't help but reflect on the reasons that pushed him to give up his treatments, which evidently have nothing to do with the desire to harm himself, or to believe that they were not useful, on the contrary, I think instead that they arise from the sole desire to feel in control of one's own life and one's own choices.

But in your opinion, is this true freedom? Is doing what we want even if we know that it can harm us or others the only way to feel free? I am convinced not, but I hope that Claudio's story can make us reflect.

Max Laudadio
NP January 2025