Facts for the relationship

«Two are worth more than just one, because they are well rewarded for their effort. In fact, if one falls, the other picks up his companion; but woe to those who are alone and fall without having another to pick them up! This saying of the wise Qoheleth can make us think. Sometimes we may believe that "making it on our own" is a merit, but the wise man, the one who knows how to look at reality and history and learn from it, does not agree. We need to relate to others similar to us who can complete us, teach us, help us, make us grow by showing us new goals and new ways to advance in life. Alone we have very limited horizons, only another can open new paths for us.

The human person, in fact, is made for relationships, for meeting, talking, even discussing and arguing. Only in this way can he grow, develop and discover the world and what makes up life. No two people are the same and if it turns out that there are people who think exactly the same way you have to worry, because one is plagiarizing the other. There is a challenge in this time, and it is that of the exit from individualism and from the exaggerated attention to the "I", which has been forming, especially in our Western world, with all the scientific, technical, political and also religious of the 20th century. Hence the urgency to resume a reflection on true dialogue and a pedagogy for it. Urgency to rediscover the exchange of wealth and the help that is inherent in the relationship with those "other than me".

Even though it seems like a natural thing for human beings, it seems important and urgent to me to learn the art of dialogue. There may be an argument that descends into violence; this indicates the fact that there is no real listening, attention to the other, desire to grow. You just want what you think and say to be accepted; it is the style of the “I” realm. If there is listening there is also the desire to grow, to learn, to understand better. We then have the joy of meeting people who are different from us, who bring us new riches, who know how to lift us up without trampling us when we slip into error, offering us a helping hand. It is the rediscovery of the "You" as a necessity for a life that can be said to be human, real and fruitful, capable of transmitting life. This is what the wise man wants to tell us and teaches us to dialogue, that is, to speak starting from different points or opinions, to grow in something that is not agreeing and thus finding an agreement, but advancing in the discovery of what is the richness of life and grow both.

In dialogue, reaching agreement is not important; what is to be sought is to emerge enriched by each other's wealth. Of course, this way the agreement is closer, but it is not necessary for there to be any common declaration; it is enough that the one with whom I spoke has grown in my esteem and I in his. This is what is needed for this new civilization of which we barely see the appearance of a few tiny embryos to replace the one that is waning and whose decline in individualism we can clearly see. Discussion as a clash burns the past and leaves ruin, dialogue opens up a future and allows life.

Everything that surrounds us and that is given to us has a richness and we can draw from it without defrauding others, but receiving together. The wealth of one fertilizes that of the other without equalizing by erasing the personal face. This is the role of tradition, that is, of leaving a wealth to the future generation to be exploited to generate a true future.

Cesare Falletti
NP June / July 2024